Chances are pretty good your friends and family members are not being very helpful when it comes to deciding whether or not to take your child to a funeral. After all, it is a touchy subject that people tend to have mixed feelings about. There are many worries that children will struggle to understand the service and may be traumatized afterwards. The Guardian even states that 48% of people believe that it is wrong to take a child to a funeral. Unfortunately, this isn't really a question with a simple yes or no answer.
Children Need Closure Too
Adults aren't the only ones who need closure after the death of a loved one. Children will need it and some will only get that from the funeral. They also want to say goodbye, and that is something the burial service offers. Most children never say they regret going to a funeral, but they do regret not having that chance to say goodbye.
Parents and guardians may try to avoid children at funerals, as a way to protect them. It is important to listen to the children. What do they want? If your children are old enough to grasp what is going on, you may try asking them if they want to go.
Discuss Funerals With Children
There are many who try to wrap children up and protect them from things that can hurt them. Death tends to fall into that category, and it leads to many not talking about it or funerals and burial services with their children. Rather than trying to make a decision for your child, talk to them about funerals and death. Discuss what it means in a way that they will understand and be comfortable with.
This will help them make a decision over whether they want to go to the funeral or not. They will be able to decide if they want closure or were happy with the way they said their last goodbyes.
Children Become Noisy and Disruptive
Once of the biggest reasons people avoid taking children to funeral services is because they are noisy and disruptive. This is especially true if you have a toddler or an infant. The child may get fussy or cry during the eulogies, prayers, or sermons.
They won't remember the funeral, so it can make sense to leave them with the babysitter. Another option would be to have someone at the funeral who will be able to take the child out when they do get bored. It is, however, important to keep in mind that the people at the funeral will be understanding and patient with your children if you decided to bring them.
Unfortunately, there is no right or wrong answer to this question. If the person who died was close to the child such as an immediate family member, it makes sense to take the child regardless of how he/she acts during the service. If it was a more distant relative the child did not really know, going to the funeral may not make a difference to your child. If your child is older, just consider asking him/her what he/she wants.
Talk to a funeral home, such as Fluehr Funeral Home, to get more ideas and information.Share